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అవును సార్, అంతకన్నా దురదృష్టం ఏంటంటే రాష్ట్రంలో ప్రతిపక్షం కూడా లేదు
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How to Trust Your Boyfriendfrom
Do you love him? Do you trust him?Trust is a key element in having a strong and lasting relationship with your boyfriend. Without trust, your relationship will slowly fall apart, as Frank Crane once made clear when he said that while "you may be deceived if you trust too much, [...] you will live in torment if you do not trust enough."
How do you regain trust that has slipped away because of little things that niggle you or cause you to feel he isn't as responsive or attentive as perhaps he ought to be? In this article, you'll have the chance to explore the ways in which you can learn to trust you boyfriend and move into another stage of your relationship.
Steps
1. Acknowledge why you don't trust your boyfriend. There can be a number of reasons, from not hearing from him, lack of contact, or something someone else said. Your own instinct tends to add its overlay of worry too, adding up things that may or may not be important. Some of the reasons why your trust may be tested include:
◦You have been privy to a recent revelation about him that casts suspicions on his trustworthiness
◦You have had an argument with him and it not only left you feeling sour but left many questions unanswered
◦You feel that he has betrayed your trust in him by something that he has done, said, or openly acknowledged to you
◦You feel that he is slipping away - he calls you less, he's not coming around to see you much, or he seems to be seeing other people without asking you along too
◦You have some other reason for not trusting him.
2. Take it slowly and calm yourself down. Paranoia over the fact that you don't trust him will can cause you to deepen your mistrust rather than to want to seek some valid answers. Whatever has happened to set off your suspicions, it's more than likely that you don't have the full story or perhaps you're not even seeing all the relevant events properly. Before you discard all trust, it is important to do some thinking, questioning, and following up, to get the story straight. Focus on what is at stake and the importance of the relationship, no matter how hard it may seem and no matter how tempting it is to prefer assuming a negative viewpoint of him.
3. Think about your past relationships. Have they ended in heartbreak, mistrust, and anger? If so, you may be primed to be suspicious about a subsequent boyfriend's motives. Having someone betray your trust hurts, and can carry on into your next relationship. If this is the case, talk to your boyfriend about your past relationship (or relationships) and tell him what happened and why it hurt you. Not only will doing this increase your trust in him, he will be able to understand what lies behind your paranoia. Depending on the type of guy he is, he may even be able to help you work through the challenge.
◦If you're stuck in an emotional situation where you don't feel that you're able to move past the hurt, this can be a good time to speak with a therapist or counselor in order to mend the wounds of any past relationship that might have caused you to feel paranoid or anxious about current relationships.
4. Talk to him about why you don't trust him. Use tact, but be honest with him. Guys prefer blatant honesty to constantly avoiding, embellishing, or twisting the subject. If you talk to him about it, not only will it make you feel better, but his trust in you will be likely t increase because he'll feel that, even though you don't trust him, you had to courage to come out and talk to him about it anyway. Whatever his response, your courage in speaking so clearly makes you a very good and honest person.
5. Go the extra mile to increase his trust in you. Be honest, caring, understanding, and trustworthy yourself, before asking someone to do the same. Don't gossip about him and don't be condescending or negative about him to other people; it will get back to him and will only make things harder for you to fix. Open up a little more yourself; this is especially important if you've been keeping your concerns and most intimate self from him.
◦Keep the line of communication open, and let him know what is going on in your life. You don't have to tell him about every time that you stub your toe, or what you ate for breakfast yesterday, but do tell him things. Tell him funny (or sad) stories about your past and encourage him to do the same.
6.Just because he looks doesn't mean he wandersLearn to let little things go. This step is one that is easily overlooked but is vital. Remember that there may be genuine, non-harmful, and even laugh-worthy reasons for why things have happened that caused you to mistrust him. What is important to a guy may not be what is important to a girl, and he may simply have thought nothing of it, while you're busy blowing it all out of proportion. A simple request to explain the situation will suffice in that case. Forgetfulness is a big one with many guys. It's unintentional but it can be infuriating. For example, maybe he just forgot to tell you that he was going out with his friends the same night you wanted to borrow his car. Maybe you didn't tell him, so there was no reason for him to even get that there was an issue; even if you did tell him, maybe it was when he was focused on doing something and he just didn't hear you properly. Whatever the reason, find it out from him before assuming it from within. You'll know whether or not the answers you're given ring true and you can work from there. If they do ring true, let go, let go, let go! Give him the benefit of the doubt and don't assume that he is cheating on you or even not telling you things.
◦Remember that your boyfriend is only human, and will forget things without meaning to. If it was important, remind him gently instead of cussing him out. If it wasn't important, let it go and remember that the little thing fall-outs that go un-blamed can prevent the enormous fight that would have resulted otherwise.
7. Hold yourself to the same standard before unleashing your anger. Have you always remembered absolutely everything? Do you always listen with absolute clarity? Do you like it when someone suggests that you're not to be trusted? It is important to be compassionate in a relationship and that includes placing yourself into the situation he's in before you approach it. At all times, remain calm and level-headed; shouting and berating any person does nothing to change the situation and can simply deepen the problems.
8. Take the time to create a firm and lasting bond with your boyfriend. Go on fun and romantic dates with each other, engage in activities outside of the bedroom, and don't be serious all of the time. Happier relationships are ones in which there is a lot of room to move, a lot of laughter, and a great deal of trust. In fact, the more trust, often the tighter the bond you'll create. The less trust, the more likely your relationship will end up laden with suspicion and dysfunctional behaviors. Embrace your inner (and more trusting) child, recognize the little, sweet things in life, and help your boyfriend to do the same:
◦Go to the park and have him push you on the swings.
◦Have a pillow or tickle fight.
◦Go to a restaurant and share a plate or a drink with each other.
◦Visit a zoo and have fun looking at all the animals.
◦Tease him, ever so gently, and let him tease you back. Couples that can handle teasing one another in a fun, kind way, tend to be couples that can handle each other's criticism and enjoy each other's love.
9. Learn the art of small talk. Sometimes telling each other "I love you, I love you, I love you, coochy coo" becomes a little too demanding and one-way. And too many deep and meaningfuls can make each of you resent hanging around each other for fear of when the "next big crisis" is about to crop up. Brighten up your time together by indulging in small talk as a way of filling in the moments where you're just spending time together in each other's company, without expecting anything of one another.
10. Last but not least, realize what you gain by loving in trust. While trust does expose us to the potential of another person's betrayal, the opposite is worse – to never trust a person and to never learn what it feels like to have that trust reciprocated and blossom would be unthinkable. Acknowledge that trust encompasses fear of being hurt and yet understand that not being trustful will end up harming your happiness, rather than guarding it. And trust can protect your health; research has shown that people with greater trust are healthier and more humorous![1] Realize that trust doesn't only let go of the other person, it also lets go of you, opening yourself to the possibilities that this time, you have connected with someone who will reciprocate the trust you've placed in him.
◦And if you're still unconvinced, keep in mind these lovely words from Dick Sutphen:
"Love me without fear,
Trust me without questioning,
Need me without demanding,
Want me without restrictions,
Accept me without change,
Desire me without inhibitions,
For a love so free...
Will never fly away."
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Post written by
Many people have so many things they want to change about their lives they don’t know where to start.
It’s overwhelming: you might smoke and eat junk food and need to exercise and want to be more productive and eliminate debt and start doing work you love and simplify your life to find time for your family and find things to be passionate about …
Where do you start?
It’s doable — this is where I was five years ago. One by one I changed my habits:
- I quit smoking.
- Started running (eventually did a few marathons).
- Started eating healthier (I eat a whole-food vegan diet now).
- Started eliminating my debt and saving money (I’m debt-free now).
- Started simplifying my life.
- Found work I love doing.
- Started waking earlier and becoming more productive.
The list goes on. I’m not trying to brag but to show it’s possible. I did all this with six kids and three jobs (with tons of help from my wife Eva of course).
Many of you might be in a desperate place like I was. A reader named Craig recently wrote:
“The last 5-7 years have just been complete hell for me mentally, physically, and financially. Prior to then I was a confident young man who was able to do anything that he put his mind to. I’m not sure exactly how everything just seemed to go down hill for me, but now I have all but lost my self confidence, I suffer from stress and anxiety, I am probably about 30-40 lbs overweight, I’m a pack a day smoker, and to be honest I can’t stand to look at myself in the mirror these days.”
He continued:
“Every morning I wake up with butterflies in my stomach because it’s almost like I’m afraid to even face the day. I often sleep too late and I just all around feel like crap in the morning. I have tried all kinds of different things to try to fix this issue but nothing has worked. I just wish I could start my day off on a better note.”
He then asked the key question: “How were you able to kick start your life back in 2005 and begin your journey to a better more productive life? How are you able to get up in the morning, jump out if bed, and start your day on a positive note?”
In 2005 I was in a bad place in my life with so many changes I needed to make that it was utterly overwhelming and discouraging.
Then I made one of the smartest decisions of my life (aside from marrying Eva):
I chose just one habit.
The other habits would come later. Starting with just one habit accomplished four important things:
- It became much more manageable. One habit is doable — 15 habits are too hard.
- It gave me focus. I could pour all my energies into one thing. When you have too many habits you’re trying to change it diffuses your energies and you most often fail.
- It taught me how to change habits — and then I could apply that knowledge to the next habit change.
- It allowed me to succeed and then use that energy and enthusiasm to succeed at the next thing.
Every single one of these is incredibly important. I won’t go into much depth for the first three things because I feel they’re self-evident. But the last one is so important that it deserves a little discussion (see below).
Which Habit to Choose
I started with quitting smoking because it seemed the most urgent to me. Looking back it was also the hardest habit to quit. I might recommend an easier habit to get started with.
But the truth is it doesn’t matter much. If you have 15 habits you want to change and they all seem important then just pick one randomly.
Here’s the thing: in the long scheme it doesn’t matter a lick which one you started with. Five years from now you’re going to look back on all the habits you’ve changed and the order you started with won’t make a difference. Right now it seems to matter but you’re not in this for just this month — you’re in this for life.
Pick one. Any one. I’d suggest an easy one. The important thing isn’t that you choose the right habit but that you start.
Spiral of Success
Picking one habit allows you to succeed and build on that success. That’s more important than you might think if you haven’t done that before.
I read a book by Bill Gates in the 90s where he talked about his “Spiral of Success”. He built MS-DOS and that succeeded so he leveraged that success for MS-Word and then Windows and then Windows 95 and then Excel and Office and Internet Explorer and so on (the order might be wrong here but that’s not important).
Now I’m not a big Bill Gates fan. But the concept is true not only in business but in anything you do: your success with one habit will make you feel great. You’ll be so excited by that you’ll want to try another. If you focus on just one habit you’ll succeed at that too and you can then build on that and so on.
Soon you’ll be rocking the world and people will ask you how you did it. You don’t have to mention my name but you should mention Bill Gates’ name — credit where it’s due.
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"నేను పరాయి స్త్రీని తల్లిలా భావిస్తాను" గొప్ప చెప్పుకున్నాడు రాజేష్ తన Hi-tech loverతో.
"ఏఁ.. మీ నాన్న నీకు ఏ అమ్మాయినీ ప్రేమించడానికి ఛాన్స్ ఇవ్వడా?.... తనే ముందు enter అవుతాడా!!!?" అంటూ అనుమనంగా అడిగిందా Hi-tech lover."
"ఏఁ.. మీ నాన్న నీకు ఏ అమ్మాయినీ ప్రేమించడానికి ఛాన్స్ ఇవ్వడా?.... తనే ముందు enter అవుతాడా!!!?" అంటూ అనుమనంగా అడిగిందా Hi-tech lover."
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"ఆలస్యం అమృతం విషమంటే?"
"త్వరగా ప్రేమించు అని".
"మరి.. నిదానమే ప్రధానమంటే?"
"కాస్త ఆలోచించి పెళ్ళి చేసుకో అని"."
"త్వరగా ప్రేమించు అని".
"మరి.. నిదానమే ప్రధానమంటే?"
"కాస్త ఆలోచించి పెళ్ళి చేసుకో అని"."
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"సార్... ఇక్కడ scooter park చేసుకోవచ్చా?" ఒక centerలో policeని అడిగాడు చక్రవర్తి.
"Sorry.... ఇది no parking zone", చెప్పాడు police.
"మరిక్కడ వంద scooterలు ఉన్నాయ్?"
"వారెవరూ మీలా నన్ను అడగలేదు" చెప్పడు police."
"Sorry.... ఇది no parking zone", చెప్పాడు police.
"మరిక్కడ వంద scooterలు ఉన్నాయ్?"
"వారెవరూ మీలా నన్ను అడగలేదు" చెప్పడు police."
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"రాధా రాధా.... మన్ బుజ్జిపండు మాటలు విన్నావా? చూడు రెండేళ్ళకే ఎంత చక్కగా మాట్లాడుతున్నాడో! నా తెలివితేటలన్నీ వీడికి వచ్చాయి" సంతోషంగా అన్నాడు రమేష్.
"అవును నిజమే. నా తెలివితేటలన్నీ నా దగ్గరే ఉన్నాయి" అన్నది రాధ."
"అవును నిజమే. నా తెలివితేటలన్నీ నా దగ్గరే ఉన్నాయి" అన్నది రాధ."
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"ఏమిటండీ.... suitcase నిండా బట్టలన్నీ సర్దుకుంటున్నారు. ఏదైనా campకి వెళ్తున్నారా?" అడిగింది లత భర్తని.
"Camp ఆ నా బొందా? Steel సామాన్లవాడిని నేను officeకి వెళ్ళగానే రమ్మన్నావుగా. అందుకె నాజాగ్రత్తలో నేనుండాలి" బయలుదేరాడు శ్రీధర్."
"Camp ఆ నా బొందా? Steel సామాన్లవాడిని నేను officeకి వెళ్ళగానే రమ్మన్నావుగా. అందుకె నాజాగ్రత్తలో నేనుండాలి" బయలుదేరాడు శ్రీధర్."
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Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Jennifer Gresham at Everyday Bright.
You feel like you’ve tried everything. You set something outside with the garbage, but find it back inside the house because your spouse couldn’t bear parting with it. Or you plead for help with clearing the clutter, only to have what was supposed to be a guest room transform into a storage area.
You crave a more minimalist home, but not at the expense of your marriage. You’ve resigned yourself that living with all that stuff is simply the price you pay for love.
Or maybe convincing them to part with it is easier than you think …
I’ve always loved my husband’s sentimental nature. I think it’s sweet he stored our hastily scrawled love notes and considers saving gifts from family an act of loyalty (yes, even the wind-up sushi and 4 foot long Spanish sword). Of course, he’s also kept early drawings of airplanes and his high school Letterman’s jacket.
I came to minimalism late in life and goodness knows I still have a long way to go. But as the girl who consigned her wedding gown, I thought I could help him see the benefit of reducing our material burden. I reminded him of all the clutter we never used, yet found ourselves trapped into keeping; I hinted at the money we could earn by selling those things on Craigslist. At times, I’m ashamed to admit, I called his reluctance silly.
Not surprisingly, those somewhat confrontational introductions to minimalism didn’t go well. The key wasn’t just being more delicate, though that certainly helped. As Chip and Dan Heath explain in their book Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard, to persuade your family or anyone else to embrace a new idea, you must appeal to both their minds and their hearts.
5 strategies to make minimalism a joint venture
1. Bring in an outside expert. Maybe this has happened to you: your spouse gives you some advice, about your job or your family, but you don’t believe it until someone else tells you the same thing. I don’t quite know why this happens, but this phenomena can complicate your family efforts with minimalism as well.
In the spirit of leveraging this built-in bias, I let my husband borrow my copy of Chris Guillebeau’s The Art of Nonconformity. I didn’t introduce it as a text on minimalism (it isn’t), just an inspiring read. Before I knew it, my husband was telling me how reducing our material footprint would give us more flexibility in everything from housing choices to travel plans.
Find a book on a subject your spouse already wants to read, but also speaks to the general principles of minimalism. For example, if your spouse loves sailing, try a true story about someone who sold all their belongings to sail around the world.
2. Create a purgatory for your stuff. For you, probably nothing’s quite as joyful as watching the garbage truck turn the corner with ten bags of your former possessions. But if your spouse is still on the fence, that scenario sounds more like a nightmare.
Decluttering in steps takes the edge off. In our case, we designated our garage as our “purgatory.” Anything that stayed there without being missed for more than 3 months could safely be removed. If someone really wanted it, the item could move back in.
If you’re short on storage space, try finding a “foster home” for your things. Maybe a friend needs a stereo or a frying pan–let him borrow yours until your spouse feels comfortable making it a gift. The point is to make the first decision reversible, which reduces the fear factor and allows the emotional side of the brain to ease into the decision (while still removing the item from the house).
3. Lead by example. I’m a modest person and have never been a fan of “I love me” walls boasting diplomas or awards. But the Outstanding Educator award I earned at the Air Force Academy is special–I actually cried when I won it. So when I decided to toss the bust and plaque, that got my husband’s attention.
Determine what truly motivates your spouse’s hoarding. Is it guilt, nostalgia, or just laziness? Demonstrate how your spouse might bypass those issues without making a big deal of it. In my case, I told him I realized I didn’t need the physical object to feel the pride it represented, which triggered my husband’s own revelation that clinging to his childhood memorabilia was likewise unrelated to the happy memories they held for him.
4. Be happy. I’m a lucky woman; making me happy seems to be one of my husband’s life goals. And without a doubt, eliminating items from our house makes me happy–for several minutes at least. Too often, however, I focused on everything we still had to sort and discard instead of celebrating our steady success.
Expressing the joy of less is the secret weapon in your efforts to share minimalism. You can approach it directly by putting your happiness into words, or you can demonstrate your improved mood in more subtle ways. For example, you could invite your spouse to an impromptu dance in the living room, explaining “Look at all this room!”
5. Believe. Addressing our extensive CD collection was the hardest for us. We admitted we almost always listened to music from our iPod. The problem was that we had hundreds of CDs that weren’t yet in our online library.
Although I initially volunteered to tackle the daunting project of converting the music, I never found the energy to begin. I suggested we either give away the discs and lose the uncataloged music, or resign ourselves to keeping the collection. To my surprise and delight, my husband provided the best alternative: he’d rip CDs every night as he surfed the internet.
I told him how proud I was of his initiative. “Don’t be too proud,” he warned. “All I’ve done is put them on the computer. We haven’t gotten rid of those CDs yet.” But with the stereo system already in purgatory and over 100 CDs captured, I felt good. I hugged him and said, “I believe in you.” And I do.
Take a cue from other change management programs, like Weight Watchers and Alcoholics Anonymous, and be that base of support for your spouse. Sometimes, having someone who believes in your ability to succeed can be inspirational enough to make it happen.
The challenge
At some point, you had an epiphany. Maybe when you had to move and you just couldn’t believe how many boxes your stuff required. Or maybe you woke up one day and said, “Enough is enough.” And once you knew what you wanted, or in this case didn’t want, you were eager to make it happen.
But you can’t convince someone else to have an epiphany. They have to come to it on their own. The more you push, the more resistance you create. Enticing your spouse to follow you to a happier life, not escape an unpleasant one, is the goal.
Remember how you felt when the two of you first met? You probably thought you could subsist on love alone. Here’s the secret: you can. You just have to remember how.
Now hurry. Go clean house.
A scientist by training and an optimist at heart, Jennifer Gresham helps you find the clarity and courage you need to transform your life at her blog Everyday Bright.
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Post written by Leo Babauta.
How do you find a balanced life when you’re overloaded with work?
How do you switch off work when you’re away from the office?
The answers to these very common questions are elusive. It’s never an easy thing. But once you do find this balance you’ll find enormous benefits: more enjoyment of life and better relationships and less stress and a better quality of life overall.
A reader recently asked:
“I’d love to hear advice on how people who work full-time jobs can still manage to attain a well-balanced life. Especially in roles that give you sales targets, monitor you, and can be very stressful. I know it’s best to switch off after working hours, but sometimes (as humans) it is tough.
In Hong Kong, part-time jobs don’t pay well here and are tough to find, and full-time jobs often require overtime and are very stressful (it’s the Hong Kong norm to squeeze out as much as you can from an employee). In this corporate jungle, a part-time would be a perfect job for me (say 9-3 everyday); however it’s very hard to find jobs like that – it’s just not how the job market here is in Asia.
So how does one keep their calm and be grounded and still make time & energy for family, friends, myself, hobbies, interests and let’s face it – sanity? How does one learn to ‘not keep goals’ when that is what is expected from 8:30 a.m.-6:30 p.m. 5 days a week? It’s tough to be 2 different people at work and outside of work.”
That’s a tough one. I should note that in many countries — including the U.S. — this is a common problem even if it’s not as pronounced as in Hong Kong (for example). We all face these problems whether we’re employees or self-employed or free-lancers or own our own businesses.
I’ve created a life where balance is intentionally built-in but it hasn’t always been that way. I’ve worked in the private sector (in the news industry) where they try to squeeze every bit out of employees and we were often asked to work longer hours without compensation. I’ve worked in demanding public service jobs where working into the night and weekend hours (again without more pay) were the norm. It wasn’t easy finding balance.
But don’t despair. Change is possible. These days I have created a life where I work less but on things I love. I make time for staying active and getting outside. I make time for playing with my kids and being alone with my wife. I find time alone for reading and walking and thinking. And as I do these things work isn’t always on my mind.
I have a few key tips that should help no matter what your work situation:
1. Set a time to shut off work. Working all day and night means you are nothing but your job. Your life belongs to your employer (or if you’re the employer then your life belongs to your employees or customers). Take ownership of your life — find variety and ways to burn off stress and find enjoyment in life! Start by setting a time each day when you shut off work. Whether that’s 5 p.m. or 5:30 or 6 or 7 or 9 p.m. Some of you can set it even earlier if you start earlier — say 4 p.m. or something like that. Set that time and make it happen. After that shut-off time you will not do work or check email or think about work.
2. Find something to immerse yourself in after work. What do you love doing besides work? Do you love to read or run or play sports or hang out with friends or play with your kids or build model ships or play games? If you don’t already have a passion then pick something that sounds fun and give it a try. It doesn’t have to be expensive — it could be as simple as hiking around your neighborhood or volunteering at a charity or helping friends with household projects. Schedule it as soon after work as possible. And while you’re doing it try to completely immerse yourself. Don’t think about work — only think about the after-work activity.
3. Learn to be mindful and present. It’s not easy to just switch your mind off work but it’s a skill you can learn over time. The way to learn this isn’t to try to block work from your mind — it’s to learn to bring your mind back to whatever you’re doing after work. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing: it could be household chores or exercise or talking with someone or taking a bath or eating. Whatever it is … that’s all you want to focus on. Your mind will inevitably slip into something else. That’s OK. Bring it back gently and without reprimand. Slowly with practice you will get better at being present. Which means your work won’t always be on your mind.
4. Take breaks at work. Not everyone will have this flexibility but it’s worth doing if you can manage it. Basically if you’re working for 8 or 10 hours you don’t want to do it non-stop. You need to find balance even at work. So at least once an hour get up and walk around. Get outside if you can and take a walk. Stretch and massage your shoulders and get your blood moving. Do some squats or pushups if you want to start getting fit. Talk to someone. Drink water. Eat fruits and vegetables. Your break just needs to be 5-10 minutes but it’s important.
5. Increase your skills while at work — to prepare for leaving work. If you are very skilled at what you do then you become worth more. In fact it’s often possible to quit your job and start your own business if you’re good enough. And it doesn’t take a lot of money to work for yourself — you can start a business with practically no money. I started mine while still working full time: my job funded my startup business. Even if you don’t go into business for yourself you’ll be worth more with a high skill level. So devote your work hours to learning and perfecting your work skills.
6. Find ways to increase your income while decreasing hours. As your skills increase your value increases. Slowly pick jobs or projects that earn more money per hour. This often means changing jobs but it might be a promotion or change in roles. It could mean starting your own business or becoming a consultant. If you already have your own business or work for yourself then you should slowly be picking jobs or business projects that pay more for every hour you spend working on them. By increasing income you can decrease hours and free up more time for yourself.
7. Learn that you are not defined by work. You can be happy without your job. Your value isn’t completely tied to your work. For example: I’m a writer but it’s not the only thing I am. I’m also a father and husband and know that those are my most important roles — not my role as a writer. I am more than that as well: I run and read and learn and help others and am constantly experimenting with life. I can do things other than my job and be fulfilled. So can you. And once you discover this you’ll free yourself to find a life outside of work. Then balance is simply a matter of logistics — you just need to make it happen by taking small steps.
Small steps is always the answer. You don’t need to be perfect at shutting off work or being present or pouring yourself into something after work. You just need to start doing it and in doing so you’ve already started down the road to balance.
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"రెండు గంటల నుంచి నీతో మాట్లాడుతుంటే అస్సలు కాలం తెలియడం లేదు. నా తలనొప్పంతా మాయమైపోయింది." అన్నడు ధర్మారావు.
"ఓ! ఇప్పుడర్థమైంది. నా తలలోకి వచ్చిన నొప్పి మీదేనా?" తలపట్టుకుని అన్నాడు అర్జున్రావు."
"ఓ! ఇప్పుడర్థమైంది. నా తలలోకి వచ్చిన నొప్పి మీదేనా?" తలపట్టుకుని అన్నాడు అర్జున్రావు."
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"పిసినిగొట్టుతనానికి ఓ హద్దు అదుపు ఉండాలి. మూరెడు మల్లెపూలు తెమ్మంటే పావలా పెట్టి పది విడి పూలు తెస్తారా?" కోపంగా అన్నది రోహిణి.
"సర్లే, ఈపూలను Fridgeలో పెట్టి రోజుకొకటి జడలో గుచ్చుకో" అన్నాడు శాంతారాం." ................by CH Gowri Kumar
"సర్లే, ఈపూలను Fridgeలో పెట్టి రోజుకొకటి జడలో గుచ్చుకో" అన్నాడు శాంతారాం." ................by CH Gowri Kumar
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The Spiral of Successful Habits: "
Many people have so many things they want to change about their lives they don’t know where to start.
It’s overwhelming: you might smoke and eat junk food and need to exercise and want to be more productive and eliminate debt and start doing work you love and simplify your life to find time for your family and find things to be passionate about …
Where do you start?
It’s doable — this is where I was five years ago. One by one I changed my habits:
The list goes on. I’m not trying to brag but to show it’s possible. I did all this with six kids and three jobs (with tons of help from my wife Eva of course).
Many of you might be in a desperate place like I was. A reader named Craig recently wrote:
He continued:
He then asked the key question: “How were you able to kick start your life back in 2005 and begin your journey to a better more productive life? How are you able to get up in the morning, jump out if bed, and start your day on a positive note?”
In 2005 I was in a bad place in my life with so many changes I needed to make that it was utterly overwhelming and discouraging.
Then I made one of the smartest decisions of my life (aside from marrying Eva):
I chose just one habit.
The other habits would come later. Starting with just one habit accomplished four important things:
Every single one of these is incredibly important. I won’t go into much depth for the first three things because I feel they’re self-evident. But the last one is so important that it deserves a little discussion (see below).
I started with quitting smoking because it seemed the most urgent to me. Looking back it was also the hardest habit to quit. I might recommend an easier habit to get started with.
But the truth is it doesn’t matter much. If you have 15 habits you want to change and they all seem important then just pick one randomly.
Here’s the thing: in the long scheme it doesn’t matter a lick which one you started with. Five years from now you’re going to look back on all the habits you’ve changed and the order you started with won’t make a difference. Right now it seems to matter but you’re not in this for just this month — you’re in this for life.
Pick one. Any one. I’d suggest an easy one. The important thing isn’t that you choose the right habit but that you start.
Picking one habit allows you to succeed and build on that success. That’s more important than you might think if you haven’t done that before.
I read a book by Bill Gates in the 90s where he talked about his “Spiral of Success”. He built MS-DOS and that succeeded so he leveraged that success for MS-Word and then Windows and then Windows 95 and then Excel and Office and Internet Explorer and so on (the order might be wrong here but that’s not important).
Now I’m not a big Bill Gates fan. But the concept is true not only in business but in anything you do: your success with one habit will make you feel great. You’ll be so excited by that you’ll want to try another. If you focus on just one habit you’ll succeed at that too and you can then build on that and so on.
Soon you’ll be rocking the world and people will ask you how you did it. You don’t have to mention my name but you should mention Bill Gates’ name — credit where it’s due.
Post written by Leo Babauta.
Many people have so many things they want to change about their lives they don’t know where to start.
It’s overwhelming: you might smoke and eat junk food and need to exercise and want to be more productive and eliminate debt and start doing work you love and simplify your life to find time for your family and find things to be passionate about …
Where do you start?
It’s doable — this is where I was five years ago. One by one I changed my habits:
- I quit smoking.
- Started running (eventually did a few marathons).
- Started eating healthier (I eat a whole-food vegan diet now).
- Started eliminating my debt and saving money (I’m debt-free now).
- Started simplifying my life.
- Found work I love doing.
- Started waking earlier and becoming more productive.
The list goes on. I’m not trying to brag but to show it’s possible. I did all this with six kids and three jobs (with tons of help from my wife Eva of course).
Many of you might be in a desperate place like I was. A reader named Craig recently wrote:
“The last 5-7 years have just been complete hell for me mentally, physically, and financially. Prior to then I was a confident young man who was able to do anything that he put his mind to. I’m not sure exactly how everything just seemed to go down hill for me, but now I have all but lost my self confidence, I suffer from stress and anxiety, I am probably about 30-40 lbs overweight, I’m a pack a day smoker, and to be honest I can’t stand to look at myself in the mirror these days.”
He continued:
“Every morning I wake up with butterflies in my stomach because it’s almost like I’m afraid to even face the day. I often sleep too late and I just all around feel like crap in the morning. I have tried all kinds of different things to try to fix this issue but nothing has worked. I just wish I could start my day off on a better note.”
He then asked the key question: “How were you able to kick start your life back in 2005 and begin your journey to a better more productive life? How are you able to get up in the morning, jump out if bed, and start your day on a positive note?”
In 2005 I was in a bad place in my life with so many changes I needed to make that it was utterly overwhelming and discouraging.
Then I made one of the smartest decisions of my life (aside from marrying Eva):
I chose just one habit.
The other habits would come later. Starting with just one habit accomplished four important things:
- It became much more manageable. One habit is doable — 15 habits are too hard.
- It gave me focus. I could pour all my energies into one thing. When you have too many habits you’re trying to change it diffuses your energies and you most often fail.
- It taught me how to change habits — and then I could apply that knowledge to the next habit change.
- It allowed me to succeed and then use that energy and enthusiasm to succeed at the next thing.
Every single one of these is incredibly important. I won’t go into much depth for the first three things because I feel they’re self-evident. But the last one is so important that it deserves a little discussion (see below).
Which Habit to Choose
I started with quitting smoking because it seemed the most urgent to me. Looking back it was also the hardest habit to quit. I might recommend an easier habit to get started with.
But the truth is it doesn’t matter much. If you have 15 habits you want to change and they all seem important then just pick one randomly.
Here’s the thing: in the long scheme it doesn’t matter a lick which one you started with. Five years from now you’re going to look back on all the habits you’ve changed and the order you started with won’t make a difference. Right now it seems to matter but you’re not in this for just this month — you’re in this for life.
Pick one. Any one. I’d suggest an easy one. The important thing isn’t that you choose the right habit but that you start.
Spiral of Success
Picking one habit allows you to succeed and build on that success. That’s more important than you might think if you haven’t done that before.
I read a book by Bill Gates in the 90s where he talked about his “Spiral of Success”. He built MS-DOS and that succeeded so he leveraged that success for MS-Word and then Windows and then Windows 95 and then Excel and Office and Internet Explorer and so on (the order might be wrong here but that’s not important).
Now I’m not a big Bill Gates fan. But the concept is true not only in business but in anything you do: your success with one habit will make you feel great. You’ll be so excited by that you’ll want to try another. If you focus on just one habit you’ll succeed at that too and you can then build on that and so on.
Soon you’ll be rocking the world and people will ask you how you did it. You don’t have to mention my name but you should mention Bill Gates’ name — credit where it’s due.
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"Jonathan Alter says Barack Obama has struggled to connect with the American public, yet he's accomplished more than any president since Lyndon Johnson."
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Dear Friends,
26th January Republic Day.....! On this day think of our past and Try to built better future for all of us.. It is a duty of all of us!! I am proud to be an Indian.31 states 1618 languages 6400 castes 6 ethnic groups 29 festivals 1 COUNTRY, PROUD TO BE: INDIAN Happy Republic Day.
With Regards
SriSri
26th January Republic Day.....! On this day think of our past and Try to built better future for all of us.. It is a duty of all of us!! I am proud to be an Indian.31 states 1618 languages 6400 castes 6 ethnic groups 29 festivals 1 COUNTRY, PROUD TO BE: INDIAN Happy Republic Day.
With Regards
SriSri
