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Thoreau’s Guide to Living More by Spending Less: "
There are lots of reasons for living a more minimalist life. By owning less you reduce your impact on the environment, you spend less, and you live more simply.
For Henry David Thoreau, the reason for spending less boiled down to a simple formula. It’s what I call “the life calculation.” Here’s how Thoreau describes it:
Why live more simply? Because the more stuff we buy, the more we end up exchanging our life for the things we own. This is a radical way of thinking about cost. Normally, we think of cost as a measure of dollars and cents. The latest iPhone costs $399. A new Toyota Prius costs around $25,000. A house on the beach in Malibu costs $20,000,000. You get the idea.
Thoreau’s key insight is that the things we buy don’t just cost money, they cost us time, effort, and sacrifice. They cost us our life.
Example. Let’s say you decide to buy a million dollar house. Thoreau would say that the real cost of the house isn’t one million dollars. The real cost is the number of years of work required to pay it off. So if it takes you 40 years of long hours working a job you hate to pay off that house, then it’s real cost is not one million dollars, it’s 40-years of life.
How can we apply Thoreau’s “life calculation” to our daily lives? Here are three steps that might help:
This may be true. But it’s also true that employers are becoming more flexible. I just had lunch with a CEO who told me, “I would be happy to let an employee take a few more weeks off for a cut in pay. But nobody has ever asked for it.”
What do you think about Thoreau’s “life calculation”? Would it help you spend less and live more?
There are lots of reasons for living a more minimalist life. By owning less you reduce your impact on the environment, you spend less, and you live more simply.
For Henry David Thoreau, the reason for spending less boiled down to a simple formula. It’s what I call “the life calculation.” Here’s how Thoreau describes it:
The cost of a thing is the amount of what I will call life which is required to be exchanged for it, immediately or in the long run.
Why live more simply? Because the more stuff we buy, the more we end up exchanging our life for the things we own. This is a radical way of thinking about cost. Normally, we think of cost as a measure of dollars and cents. The latest iPhone costs $399. A new Toyota Prius costs around $25,000. A house on the beach in Malibu costs $20,000,000. You get the idea.
Thoreau’s key insight is that the things we buy don’t just cost money, they cost us time, effort, and sacrifice. They cost us our life.
Example. Let’s say you decide to buy a million dollar house. Thoreau would say that the real cost of the house isn’t one million dollars. The real cost is the number of years of work required to pay it off. So if it takes you 40 years of long hours working a job you hate to pay off that house, then it’s real cost is not one million dollars, it’s 40-years of life.
How can we apply Thoreau’s “life calculation” to our daily lives? Here are three steps that might help:
- What’s Your Work Time Worth?
The first step in applying the “life calculation” is to calculate the value of your working hours. Let’s say you make $50,000 a year working 40 hours a week. After taxes, you end up actually seeing $35,000 (this will depend on where you live, number of dependents, etc.). Assuming you work 50 weeks a year, the monetary value of each working hour is around $17. - The Shift From Dollars to Life.
Once you’ve nailed down the rough value of each working hour, you can begin shifting away from thinking dollars to thinking life. You do this by calculating the life cost of all those things you wish you could buy. So that new MacBook Pro you wish you had no longer costs $1,800. If each hour of work is worth $17, it now costs 105 hours (almost three weeks) of life. That new house you wish you could buy no longer costs $500,000, it costs 29,411 hours of life (roughly 14 working years of life, and that’s assuming that the house is the only thing you spend your money on). - Consider trading things for life.
Once you’ve calculated these actual life costs, think seriously about the trade-off between things and life. For Thoreau, the trade-off was simple. He always chose life over new things. As he says, “There is no more fatal blunderer than he who consumes the greater part of his life getting his living.” But you may decide that certain things are worth the life sacrifice. This doesn’t mean you’ve failed at spending less and living more. Quite the opposite. It means that you have made a reflective choice to sacrifice a portion of your days and hours for the things you own. You’ve made a conscious choice. The real danger Thoreau points to arises when we lose consciousness of this choice, when we buy without ever considering the amount of life exchanged for our latest purchase.
This may be true. But it’s also true that employers are becoming more flexible. I just had lunch with a CEO who told me, “I would be happy to let an employee take a few more weeks off for a cut in pay. But nobody has ever asked for it.”
What do you think about Thoreau’s “life calculation”? Would it help you spend less and live more?
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Facing Rejection? Here Are 5 Key Steps To Handle Them Like a Pro: "
Rejection can be tough to handle. I know because I face them often in my life.
As a personal development blogger, some readers reject what I write in my articles, sometimes writing lengthy personal emails to tell me why I'm wrong. In my work as a speaker, there are times when participants reject what I share during my workshops. In growing my business and blog, there have been countless times when I reach out to others for collaboration opportunities, only to get turned down.
Even in my personal life, I experience rejections too. For example, my family members are private individuals - they don't like to talk about themselves. There have been times when I try to connect them on a personal level, with limited results. Some of my friends can be quite nonsocial - Often times I contact them to arrange for a meet-up, only to receive lukewarm responses. Here, their rejection comes in the form of non-reciprocated efforts.
Needless to say, rejection can be quite a downer, especially when you're banking your hopes on a positive outcome. No one likes to receive a 'No', when it's so much better to get a 'Yes'.
The thing is, rejection is part of growth - be it in work, relationships or life. In the past few years of actively pursuing my growth, I've learned it's not possible to avoid rejection if you want to truly develop as a person. Rejection helps you to uncover blind spots, to learn more about yourself, and ultimately to grow.
The only way to avoid rejections is to box yourself tightly in your comfort zone, in which case you fail to live by default. This is not how you want your life to be - You're capable of so much more.
While rejection isn't easy, there are ways to deal with it and make it manageable. Here, I'd like to share with you 5 key steps that have worked very well for me:
Rejection can be tough to handle. I know because I face them often in my life.
As a personal development blogger, some readers reject what I write in my articles, sometimes writing lengthy personal emails to tell me why I'm wrong. In my work as a speaker, there are times when participants reject what I share during my workshops. In growing my business and blog, there have been countless times when I reach out to others for collaboration opportunities, only to get turned down.
Even in my personal life, I experience rejections too. For example, my family members are private individuals - they don't like to talk about themselves. There have been times when I try to connect them on a personal level, with limited results. Some of my friends can be quite nonsocial - Often times I contact them to arrange for a meet-up, only to receive lukewarm responses. Here, their rejection comes in the form of non-reciprocated efforts.
Needless to say, rejection can be quite a downer, especially when you're banking your hopes on a positive outcome. No one likes to receive a 'No', when it's so much better to get a 'Yes'.
The thing is, rejection is part of growth - be it in work, relationships or life. In the past few years of actively pursuing my growth, I've learned it's not possible to avoid rejection if you want to truly develop as a person. Rejection helps you to uncover blind spots, to learn more about yourself, and ultimately to grow.
The only way to avoid rejections is to box yourself tightly in your comfort zone, in which case you fail to live by default. This is not how you want your life to be - You're capable of so much more.
While rejection isn't easy, there are ways to deal with it and make it manageable. Here, I'd like to share with you 5 key steps that have worked very well for me:
- Don't take it personally
When you approach someone, you open yourself up, so getting a rejection naturally makes you feel like they're rejecting you. That's why most people tend to take rejections personally.
For example, when I get rejections on things that are very important to me, I feel hurt. I'd wonder if there's something wrong with me or if I'm not good enough. I'd also wonder if there was something I could have done to make things different. This puts me in a state of self-doubt.
Of course, such thinking doesn't help. It only makes you feel bad about yourself. For whatever rejection you've faced, recognize it's a rejection of the request, not you. Your request is merely an extension of your thoughts; it does not represent you as a person. Both are two entirely separate things.
Recognize that many rejections are rarely personal. They usually reflect more about the other person and how the request doesn't meet his/her needs, than about you. By taking yourself out of the equation, you'll realize a lot of your emotional responses with the rejection are unnecessary. - Expect rejection
Anticipating rejection helps me in 2 ways.
First, it challenges me to set a high benchmark to what I do. Since I'm expecting a rejection, it forces me to push my boundaries and put my best work forward, so as to increase my chances of a 'Yes'. Secondly, even if a rejection does arise, it helps me to handle it better, since I'm already prepared for it.
This doesn't mean you start going 'Oh the world sucks and no one will accept what I do/say' and adopt a doom-gloom view. The underlying principle here is to do your best, while preparing yourself to handle the worst.
Make sure you don't end up procrastinating instead. The point is to use rejections as a driving force to become better, not as an excuse to put off the work. - Maintain your focus of control
There are 2 focuses of control in life - External focus, which refers to anything outside our sphere of influence, such as our environment, colleagues, society and the world out there. Internal focus refers to what's within our sphere of influence - our thoughts, feelings, actions, behaviors, etc.
Someone with an external focus of control sees the world as the main controller of his/her universe - He/she feels that he/she has no say in his/her life, and everyone has power over him/her. On the other hand, someone with a high internal focus of control sees that he/she is the sole determinant of his/her reality. He/she recognizes he/she has the power to do what he/she wants.
Most people will adopt a high external focus of control in the face of rejection. They lose self-confidence and see themselves as incapable, lousy, or even worthless.
Yet, doing so does not address the situation. It only sends you on a downward spiral, which serves absolutely no purpose other than to feel like crap about yourself. Not only that, you're also relinquishing your power to others. That's not good at all, and you definitely don't want that!
The best way to handle rejection is to maintain your focus of control. In life, there are always going to be naysayers - the key is to learn to tackle the naysayers vs. let yourself be beaten down by them. Focus on the things you can action on. What can you do about this situation? What have you learned about it? (See point #4) How are you going to apply what you've learned? What are your next steps? The more you focus on actions you can take, the more you empower yourself. - Learn from the rejection
There's always a reason behind each rejection. Sometimes it may be a lackluster idea, a mismatch of needs, bad presentation (of the idea), bad approach, incompatibility of values, misunderstanding, and so on.
If you can understand the reason behind the rejection, you can do things differently next time. This will be immensely helpful in your growth.
One easy way is to follow-up and ask why. This can be done for almost any situation - interviews where you were rejected, client proposals, suggestions your managers turned down, and business meetings. Let them know you accept the rejection and you sincerely want to learn what went wrong, so you can improve. When done in an appropriate and sincere manner, the other party will often be more than willing to share and help you to improve.
The second, less direct way is to objectively analyze the situation and troubleshoot what went wrong. Why did the person reject this? What was the person looking for? Did the request not meet his/her needs? What could I have done better? By way of self-questioning, I'm able to uncover a lot of learning points that I was not privy to before. - Realize rejection is progression, not regression
Most people dislike rejection because they associate it as regression - moving backward. To get a rejection means to face a dead-end in your goals. It means you have wasted your time and effort on this for nothing.
Right? Wrong. Contrary to popular belief, rejection is progression, not regression.
It took me sometime to realize this, but I finally did so a few years ago. It wasn't a sudden a-ha moment, but more of a gradual realization over time. I realized all the fears about rejection are just mental, and rejection is actually a step forward to knowing what people want, what's out there in the reality, and how to improve ourselves to achieve our goals.
In fact, the more times one gets rejected, the better - because then you'll have such an extensive understanding of your blind spots and what people are looking for that nothing can take you by surprise anymore. In which case, rejection becomes your best friend and partner in growth.Learn to handle rejection, and it'll become your vital tool to your growth and success. Today, I integrate rejection as a part of my daily life, where I constantly challenge myself to new opportunities that may well result in rejections.
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How Cee Lo Green Taught Me to Achieve: "
I’ve got to make a confession. On November 9, 2010, my life changed. You see I was minding my own business, watching the Colbert Report, and saw Cee Lo Green pick up the microphone to finish the show by singing his hit single “Forget You” (aka “[expletive deleted] You”).
Since that day, that song has been playing in my head non-stop…for almost 6 months now. (By the way, if you haven’t heard it yet, open up YouTube and listen before reading further). Well wait, I'll put it right here. If you've seen this, skip it and scroll passed the video.
With a song stuck in my head for 6 months straight I had two options:
I’ve never been all that productive of a person. You see, I’ve always waited until I was “good enough” until I started taking meaningful action. I would do tons of work trying to become “good enough,” but since that’s a pretty vague goal I tended to get stuck always preparing to take real action. I would rarely accomplish something meaningful.
Luckily Cee Lo stepped in. You see, in “Forget You” he tells a beautiful story: guy loves girl, guy sees girl in a car with a rich dude, guy gets angry that he wasn’t rich enough for her, guy says screw this. He sings, “I guess the change in my pocket wasn’t enough I’m like, forget you!” And moves on. He could have sang, “I guess the change in my pocket wasn’t enough I’m like…well, I guess I’ll get a second job, try to invest wisely, and eventually win you over.” Not quite as catchy.
The wise Cee Lo realized that it wasn’t worth wishing he had more money, or waiting until he got his Ferrari. If that girl wasn’t going be with him…forget her. Realistically, even if he did wait until he got that cash, car, and xbox, that girl still wouldn’t want him (or by then he would have been over her). So he started from where he was, not from where he hoped to be one day.
What does any of this have to do with real world achievement?
On one hand, most of us want our life to change in some way. On the other hand, most of us are waiting for something before we can really take action. We’re waiting to finish a class, get a promotion, have a new situation, or find a direction. Many of us think that if only we had that one thing in our life happen, then we could start making progress.
Start achieving like Cee Lo
I’m not telling you to go record a hit record (although if you do, referencing Mr. T’s catchphrase like Cee Lo does in “Forget You” is always the right choice). Instead, pick the one biggest goal you currently have in your life. Got it? Okay, I don’t care if you’re starting at zero in pursuing that goal. I don’t care how much you have to learn before you can really do it. The most important thing you can possibly do is to say “forget you” to whatever you think you need to do before you act. Figure out how to take your first step now.
Don’t be like Cee Lo was before his “Forget You” kick. He had to “borrow, beg and steal and lie and cheat, trying to keep” the girl. In the same way, you’d have to work your ass off to get to a point where you are “good enough” to start taking real world action. Screw the ideal. Start from where you are right now.
P.S. I’ve not consulted Cee Lo, but I’m pretty sure we’re best friends and he probably agrees with everything in this warped interpretation of his catchy song lyrics. Sorry Cee Lo if you’re being misrepresented here!
I’ve got to make a confession. On November 9, 2010, my life changed. You see I was minding my own business, watching the Colbert Report, and saw Cee Lo Green pick up the microphone to finish the show by singing his hit single “Forget You” (aka “[expletive deleted] You”).
Since that day, that song has been playing in my head non-stop…for almost 6 months now. (By the way, if you haven’t heard it yet, open up YouTube and listen before reading further). Well wait, I'll put it right here. If you've seen this, skip it and scroll passed the video.
With a song stuck in my head for 6 months straight I had two options:
- Punch myself very hard in the face and hope a different song would start playing in my head, or
- Analyze the lyrics until I learned something useful.
I’ve never been all that productive of a person. You see, I’ve always waited until I was “good enough” until I started taking meaningful action. I would do tons of work trying to become “good enough,” but since that’s a pretty vague goal I tended to get stuck always preparing to take real action. I would rarely accomplish something meaningful.
Luckily Cee Lo stepped in. You see, in “Forget You” he tells a beautiful story: guy loves girl, guy sees girl in a car with a rich dude, guy gets angry that he wasn’t rich enough for her, guy says screw this. He sings, “I guess the change in my pocket wasn’t enough I’m like, forget you!” And moves on. He could have sang, “I guess the change in my pocket wasn’t enough I’m like…well, I guess I’ll get a second job, try to invest wisely, and eventually win you over.” Not quite as catchy.
The wise Cee Lo realized that it wasn’t worth wishing he had more money, or waiting until he got his Ferrari. If that girl wasn’t going be with him…forget her. Realistically, even if he did wait until he got that cash, car, and xbox, that girl still wouldn’t want him (or by then he would have been over her). So he started from where he was, not from where he hoped to be one day.
What does any of this have to do with real world achievement?
On one hand, most of us want our life to change in some way. On the other hand, most of us are waiting for something before we can really take action. We’re waiting to finish a class, get a promotion, have a new situation, or find a direction. Many of us think that if only we had that one thing in our life happen, then we could start making progress.
- I need a perfect outline before I write that essay or blog post
- I need the perfect work out and diet plan before I start exercising
- I need the perfect website, traffic, blog, or product before I can start an online business
- I need to wait for the right time before I quite the job I hate
- work my butt off trying to be prepared enough to start making progress, or
- pout and feel sorry for myself.
Start achieving like Cee Lo
I’m not telling you to go record a hit record (although if you do, referencing Mr. T’s catchphrase like Cee Lo does in “Forget You” is always the right choice). Instead, pick the one biggest goal you currently have in your life. Got it? Okay, I don’t care if you’re starting at zero in pursuing that goal. I don’t care how much you have to learn before you can really do it. The most important thing you can possibly do is to say “forget you” to whatever you think you need to do before you act. Figure out how to take your first step now.
Don’t be like Cee Lo was before his “Forget You” kick. He had to “borrow, beg and steal and lie and cheat, trying to keep” the girl. In the same way, you’d have to work your ass off to get to a point where you are “good enough” to start taking real world action. Screw the ideal. Start from where you are right now.
P.S. I’ve not consulted Cee Lo, but I’m pretty sure we’re best friends and he probably agrees with everything in this warped interpretation of his catchy song lyrics. Sorry Cee Lo if you’re being misrepresented here!
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How to Turn Your Dream Into a Plan In Five Simple Steps: "
I’m sure you have plenty of dreams for your life. They might bubble away at the back of your mind. They might loom in your thoughts all day. They might even keep you awake at night.
Dreams can be powerful, encouraging and even a bit scary. A dream alone, though, isn’t going to get you far.
What you need is a plan.
And if that sounds too boring, think of it this way: if you want to actually have that dream, a plan is the map that gets you there.
Here are five steps for turning that vague dream into a concrete plan:
Step #1: Write Down Your Dream
How many of your dreams have you actually written down?
Perhaps the idea of committing your dreams to writing is a little frightening. Don’t resist doing it. The act of putting something into words on paper (or in a computer document) suggests that you’re committing to it – and this can be very powerful in helping you eventually achieve that dream.
Even better, when you write something down, you’re forced to think it through. That vague dream of “have lots of money” has to become something firmer – perhaps “make $100,000/year” or “have $200,000 in the bank”.
Step #2: Brainstorm Some Possibilities
Whatever your dream, there’s more than one way to reach it. For instance, if you want to make lots of money, you could:
Step #3: Pick One Clear Goal
Once you’ve figured out some possibilities, come up with one clear goal. You might decide, for instance, that your goal is to change to a particular career which will give you a $80,000/year paycheck.
Look for a goal which is perhaps challenging, but achievable. There’s no point in picking a goal which you’re convinced you can’t really manage – that’s just going to put you back in the world of dreams, where you constantly think about a better future without taking any action towards getting there.
Step #4: Give Yourself a Deadline
It’s much easier to hit your goals when you’re working towards a deadline.
Again, you want to be realistic here – but don’t be afraid to challenge yourself a little. If you’ve got a really big goal, you might want to look two – five years ahead. With smaller goals, you can probably achieve them within a year.
With the example of changing career, you might decide that three years is a realistic timeframe. It’s often helpful to tie your deadline to a particular event – perhaps your 40th birthday or Christmas 2014.
Step #5: Write Down the Steps to Get You There
And now we’re onto the plan itself. This is where you really get into the nitty-gritty and start turning that dream into something real.
With big goals, it’s often helpful to work backwards. So:
If you have any steps which you don’t know how to complete, try breaking them down further. Figure out exactly what you need to do to achieve your dream – and you’ve got a plan which really can change your life.
I’m sure you have plenty of dreams for your life. They might bubble away at the back of your mind. They might loom in your thoughts all day. They might even keep you awake at night.
Dreams can be powerful, encouraging and even a bit scary. A dream alone, though, isn’t going to get you far.
What you need is a plan.
And if that sounds too boring, think of it this way: if you want to actually have that dream, a plan is the map that gets you there.
Here are five steps for turning that vague dream into a concrete plan:
Step #1: Write Down Your Dream
How many of your dreams have you actually written down?
Perhaps the idea of committing your dreams to writing is a little frightening. Don’t resist doing it. The act of putting something into words on paper (or in a computer document) suggests that you’re committing to it – and this can be very powerful in helping you eventually achieve that dream.
Even better, when you write something down, you’re forced to think it through. That vague dream of “have lots of money” has to become something firmer – perhaps “make $100,000/year” or “have $200,000 in the bank”.
Step #2: Brainstorm Some Possibilities
Whatever your dream, there’s more than one way to reach it. For instance, if you want to make lots of money, you could:
- Change careers to something more lucrative
- Work harder in your current job to get a promotion
- Go back to college and study for a degree
- Start up your own business as an entrepreneur
- Save up money and put it into a high-interest account
- Marry someone rich
- Buy a winning lottery ticket
Step #3: Pick One Clear Goal
Once you’ve figured out some possibilities, come up with one clear goal. You might decide, for instance, that your goal is to change to a particular career which will give you a $80,000/year paycheck.
Look for a goal which is perhaps challenging, but achievable. There’s no point in picking a goal which you’re convinced you can’t really manage – that’s just going to put you back in the world of dreams, where you constantly think about a better future without taking any action towards getting there.
Step #4: Give Yourself a Deadline
It’s much easier to hit your goals when you’re working towards a deadline.
Again, you want to be realistic here – but don’t be afraid to challenge yourself a little. If you’ve got a really big goal, you might want to look two – five years ahead. With smaller goals, you can probably achieve them within a year.
With the example of changing career, you might decide that three years is a realistic timeframe. It’s often helpful to tie your deadline to a particular event – perhaps your 40th birthday or Christmas 2014.
Step #5: Write Down the Steps to Get You There
And now we’re onto the plan itself. This is where you really get into the nitty-gritty and start turning that dream into something real.
With big goals, it’s often helpful to work backwards. So:
- What are the job requirements of that new career?
- How can you achieve them (e.g. take night classes)?
- Are there any pre-requisites for that (e.g. you need some money to pay for the classes)?
- How can you do that?
If you have any steps which you don’t know how to complete, try breaking them down further. Figure out exactly what you need to do to achieve your dream – and you’ve got a plan which really can change your life.
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